


To All The Boys

by anniebibananie (alindy)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on To All The Boys I've Loved Before, F/M, Mentions of Gendrya and Margaery/Robb if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 20:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12092793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alindy/pseuds/anniebibananie
Summary: Some people write love letters. Sansa Stark writes out-of-love letters. It's just a way to blow off some steam when she needs to get over someone, it's not like she sends them out or anything. But when Jon Snow shows up on her doorstep with one of the letters in hand, her love life will take a turn toward the unbelievable.





	To All The Boys

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something for the jon and sansa remix, so here we go! It was meant for book couple day but I'm a mess with a lot of responsibilities, so here we go. Based on Jenny Han's To All The Boys I've Loved Before. Hope you enjoy!

                                                        

* * *

* * *

Sansa had entirely forgotten about the whole thing by the time Jon brought it up. It was years since she had written the letters (most of them, anyways), and though she knew they were under her bed in the old tin her father had given her, in a _vague_ sense, it wasn’t something she thought about unless it was fresh on her mind. Most days, it was just a small fleeting thought if anything at all.

So, she wasn’t thinking about it when she opened the front door of the Stark residence to see Jon. Just that he seemed a bit off.

“Sansa…” Jon said. He shuffled back and forth, and Sansa’s eyebrows crashed together in confusion. “Is– uh… Robb’s home, right?”

“Since when do you ask?” She swung open the door and stepped to the side, letting him pass. He paused in front of her, and she sighed. “Spit it out, Jon. What’s up?”

He dipped into his back pocket and pulled out a crumpled envelope with heart stickers covering the outside. It took her a second to put the pieces of it together, looking up from the letter to his confused face back down to the weathered paper.

Sansa gasped and grabbed it from his hand. “How did you get this?”

“You… sent it?” Confusion laced through his voice. He pushed the wire-rimmed glasses he wore sometimes (she wasn’t paying attention, _okay_ , they just did things to his face that she found intriguing) up his nose.

“No, I _didn’t_ ,” she assured.

She opened the envelope and slid out the letter.

_Dear Jon,_

_Just so you know. I am over    you. I’m done swooning over your long, curly hair or soft smiles. You aren’t a prince in a fairy tale, and I’m starting to think I might not even be a princess anyways. I don’t know why I thought it would ever work out. You’re Robb’s best friend and it would just botch it all up. _

_You’re dating Ygritte now, and I hope you’re perfectly happy except I kinda don’t. The mature thing to do would be to move on, so I suppose that's what I should do. You may be nice. And cute. But there are a million boys like you. This letter is the last time I’ll ever think of you like that._

_Love you no more,_

_Sansa Stark_

“Oh god,” Sansa said, looking back up at Jon’s flushed face. “You didn’t actually think I wrote this recently, did you? It wouldn’t even make sense.”

Jon shrugged, pushing his glasses up his nose again. He did it more when he was nervous, she noticed. “Then tell me what’s going on.”

“I…” Sansa groaned. She didn’t get embarrassed much anymore. It was hard to after all the things she’d gone through, but there was something about this whole situation that made her want to shrivel away into herself. “I used to write out-of-love letters. I had a crush on you in middle school, _that's_ when I wrote this. There was one for Joffrey, one for Harry, one for… oh no. How did you get this?”

“It came in the mail. Must have gotten in yesterday, but I didn’t check the mailbox until today.”

If he get it in the mail just today, that meant Sansa had to assume so did everybody else. How did the letters get out? She couldn’t even bother to think about it at the moment because the more pressing issue was _who else had gotten them._ She pulled out her phone and saw a blinking text from Margaery.

_Why did my brother get a love note from you?_

Sansa looked up and met Jon’s concerned expression. “Fuck.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Sansa sat on a chair in the living room across from Robb, Jon, and Arya who were stuffed into the couch. In another situation, Sansa might have laughed about it.

“So, you’re saying you write letters to boys when you want to _stop_ loving them?” Arya asked.

Robb leaned further forward, putting his elbows on his thighs and clasping his hands together. “And you had a crush on Jon?”

Sansa sighed. “Basically, yeah. That's kinda the gist of it.”

Arya and Robb made eye contact past Jon, who kept shifting with slight discomfort, and burst into laughter. Sansa caught Jon’s gaze, trying to convey apology, which he returned with a soft smile.

“Guys, this is embarrassing. Please, I need _help_.”

There was something nice about the moment, though. Ever since dad… life was heavier, tougher. It was nice to forget it all. Though she wished it wasn’t at her own expense. Relief settled in her chest as her siblings died down a bit. Robb even cleared his throat and wiped a stray tear from his cheek the laughter had gotten so intense, but she felt grateful for the apologetic smile he sent her.

“We can’t take the letters back,” Arya said.

“I know, but Willas…”

Arya stiffened. “Oh no.”

Jon looked between Robb and Arya, looking for an answer to the chunk of information he was clearly missing. Robb seemed just as clueless as him, though. “What’s wrong with Willas?”

Arya rolled her eyes. “She’s got a crush on him.”

“Arya!”

“Well,” she said a bit sheepishly, “you _do._ If Robb and Jon are here then clearly you want their help. They’re going to have to know.”

“I’m trying to keep up,” Robb said, “but could you lay this out for me? I’m a bit confused.”

“I wrote the letter to Willas a month ago because he’s dating this new girl, and him and I are good friends anyway. I don’t want this to ruin it. In two months when Summer ends, him and I will be at the same college. I don’t want it to be horrifically awkward.”

“Can’t you just tell him you’re over him?” Robb asked.

“It was a dated letter. It’ll be uncomfortable either way. I need to prove to him I’m over him so he doesn’t act differently around me.”

Sansa sighed again for what felt like the millionth time. As she leaned back into the cushion of the chair, the chair her dad used to sit in every Sunday to watch football, she eyed her family in front of her. Robb and Jon with their furrowed brows, inseparable since the first day they met in Kindergarten.

Arya sat almost crumpled up, one leg beneath her and a finger tapping at the side of her cheek. Bran would have been a help, honestly, but he was off at space camp. Damn him for being so smart, she thought. Arya’s face shifted into something almost guilty, and Sansa perked up.

“You had an idea.”

Arya deflated a little, though her eyes were alight with energy. “You’re not going to like it.”

“Why wouldn’t she like it?” Jon asked.

Arya took a deep breath and readjusted herself on the cushions. “You should date someone new. Best way to prove you’re over someone is to have moved on with someone else.”

“That’s cruel to whoever she’s dating, though,” Jon said. “She’d just be using them.”

Robb snapped his fingers. “Not if they’re in on it.”

“Exactly!” Arya exclaimed, the two high fiving over Jon’s head.

“Hold up.” Sansa brought a hand up, letting the words catch up to her. “How would I even find someone to date, though?”

The room went quiet. Robb scratched his head, making his hair topple into the world of unruly.

“Maybe Gendry would do it?” Arya suggested.

“I’m not fake dating the boy you have a crush on.”

Arya instantly opened her mouth to argue before snapping it shut at Sansa’s sharp look.

Robb tapped his fingers against his thigh, curiously eyeing the rest of the room. “Can I suggest bad idea number two?”

Sansa groaned, but nodded with acceptance for him to continue.

“You and Jon should date.”

“What?” they burst out simultaneously, and as childish as it was, Sansa felt almost as if she couldn’t meet Jon’s eyes. This whole situation was so unbelievable. An hour ago her whole life had been going normally enough. Now she was contemplating fake dating her brother’s best friend and her own childhood crush.

“You were saying that Val chick wouldn’t leave you alone. What better way to get her off your back then have a new girlfriend?”

Arya cleared her throat. “It would kill two birds with one stone.”

Sansa finally caught Jon’s eye. It was heavy with resignation. What had her life turned to? She sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“How’d you like to be my fake boyfriend, Jon?”

He gulped, but Sansa could already tell what he was going to say.

* * *

“We don’t have to stay long,” Sansa assured as they got out of the car. She threw her beach bag over her shoulder, and crossed in front of Jon’s truck to meet him. “Just long enough for Willas to see us together and know how maddeningly in love we are.”

It was a week later, and while at first it had seemed entirely absurd for them to fake date, it was going well so far. All they had done was hang out to corroborate their story, but Sansa liked hanging out with him. She don’t know why she had thought it would be bad; it wasn’t any different than their normal hangouts. It was almost fun, actually.

Jon raised a brow at Sansa’s comment, guiding them down the street toward Margaery’s house. The sounds of screaming and pop songs could already be heard from the pool party, tangling their way down the street and to their ears.

“What?” she asked.

“Maddeningly in love? Is that not bit of a tall order?”

She shrugged as they hit the driveway. “Just imagine I’m like the girl of your dreams or something.”

He sputtered a bit, but he had regained himself by the time they hit the driveway. She paused, jittering, and he placed a flattened palm against the center of her back. “I know I’m not the best actor in the world, but I think I can manage being in love with you.”

“Not too hard?” she joked meekly. His hair looked nice pulled back, she realized, and his arms were actually on display for once underneath his white tee shirt.

He met her gaze and gave a smile. “Piece of lemon cake.”

It was dorky, but it got a laugh out of her, and she felt herself strengthen up. She pushed her shoulders back, and the two of them entered through the pool gate at the rear of the house. It was already properly filled. People were jumping in and out of the pool. Sansa noticed Jeyne over by the diving board, and she gave a small wave that was returned with a friendly smile. Margaery wasn't in sight, but Sansa wasn’t that surprised. She knew how to be the perfect hostess, it always meant fluttering off from one thing to another.

“Would you like a drink?” Jon asked. It was loud enough that he had to dip in a bit, his breath hitting the shell of her ear.

She shivered and nodded. “A lemonade, please?”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” he said as he gave her arm a quick squeeze, disappearing toward the table.

It was just her luck, really, that Willas would appear just then. An attractive pair of swim trunks on, and his shirt already off. His hair had been tousled by water, but he didn't seem bothered by it. It made him look beautifully carefree. “Sansa!” he exclaimed, just as cheery as ever.

“Hey,” she replied, shifting on her feet. He didn’t seem to be acting any differently, but she still felt unsure of how to act in return. “This is quite the party.”

He sidled up next to her, purveying the scene. “You know Marg. She never does anything halfway.”

“No, she doesn’t.” They sat in silence for a beat too long, and Sansa could feel her palms become slick with sweat.

“About that letter,” he began, and she could already see it in his eyes—a sense of pity, the heaviness of uncomfortable words—and when he opened his mouth to continue, ease flew over her with the feel of a familiar palm against her back again.

“You know Jon, right?” she cut him off instantly, gratefully taking the lemonade from his hands. His eyes surveyed her face, checking to make sure she was okay. She gave a quick nod and burrowed further underneath his arm, bringing herself practically flush to his side.

Willas’s eyebrows scrunched together. “I do? Are you…?”

“Dating,” he answered. “For about… what? A month now?”

Sansa nodded with assurance. “About a month.” She looked away from the calming planes of Jon’s face back toward Willas. The whole while she attempted to maintain her composure. “I know you got that silly letter I wrote—I really don’t know how they got sent out—but I assure you that's all in the past. Over and done with. It was _so_ juvenile really, and now Jon and I…”

She trailed off, looking up at him. Jon was eyeing Willas, but he bent down and gave a quick kiss to the crown of her head. This was nice, she realized. If this was what having a boyfriend was meant to feel like, not the atrocities she’d experienced in the past, she understood now why love was actually worth it. Not just painful mess after painful mess.

Willas cleared his throat, and she snapped her gaze away and back toward him. His eyebrow ticked with what looked a bit like irritation, but she couldn’t be sure if it was real or her imagination.

“I’m glad you two are happy. I should probably go find _my_ girlfriend,” he said, whipping his head around to spot her in the crowd. “We still on for coffee Thursday, Sansa?”

“I should be,” she said with a distracted nod.

He nodded slowly before backing away. “Well, I’ll text you. Nice to see you again, Jon.”

He was gone before Jon could even get another word in. For a moment they stood there in silence before she could feel vibrations coming from Jon, and then she knew by the way his chest shook that he was laughing. There was something about the sound—a bit foreign perhaps?—that made it impossible to ignore in return.

“Why are you laughing?” she said through her own laughs. It seemed to rattle through her bones, and even when she tried to regain composure, she couldn’t seem to manage it. “Jon!”

“It’s just…” He laughed, and she turned toward him to see crinkles at the corner of his eyes. “This is so ridiculous, isn’t it?”

Sansa slapped his arm, but she nodded. Her smile felt so huge. She felt so weightless. “Want to make it a little more ridiculous?”

Jon’s smile widened.

* * *

Which was how they found themselves at a bar Sansa should not rightfully even be able to get in. Jon and Robb had both just turned 21, but she was only 19. He’d known the bouncer, though, and the night was still fairly young. Sansa felt a bit out of place in the outfit she’d planned for a pool party, but luckily she’d had a jean jacket in Jon’s car she was able to throw on to cover up.

“Why are you nervous?” Sansa asked as she propped herself up on one of the stools. “It’s not like you actually like her.”

Jon sat beside her, his fingers instantly tapping against the sticky bar top. “She’s just a lot. I should warn you, she’s persistent.”

“Jon,” came a voice, and Sansa swiveled on the stool to see who had spoken.

She was beautiful, Sansa noticed instantly. Long, thick blonde hair and a lithe, strong figure. Every movement was carried with confidence, an air of surety. Sansa wasn’t quite sure why Val _wouldn’t_ be interesting to Jon, unless she was just too strong of a personality. Though, Ygritte had been a strong personality, too. It didn’t seem to quite add up.

“Hey,” he said through a smile. It looked casual enough, though Sansa knew him well enough to see the way his hand that wasn’t on the bar grabbed at his thigh.

Val leaned against the bar, flashing a brilliant smile. “I haven’t seen you around much lately. When you going to take me on that date?”

Sansa knew she wasn’t _really_ Jon’s girlfriend, but in that moment she _felt_ it. The surge of jealousy. The moment of disbelief. And whatever took over her was practically instinctual more than anything else.

“That’s going to be a little difficult,” she said as she leaned into Jon’s side. She turned, flashing what she hoped to be a loving smile and pushing a stray hair out of his face. In the depths of his eyes, Sansa could notice the shock, but he fell into the movement naturally. “He’s dating me. Sansa Stark, nice to meet you.”

Sansa held out her hand toward Val with a sugar sweet smile and gripped tightly as Val took it. The blonde didn’t seem as taken aback as Sansa would have liked, but at least she was marking her pretend territory.

“Hm, I haven’t heard of you before,” Val said with a tilt of her head. “How long have you been dating?”

“About a month,” Sansa said. “It’s going really well.”

She nodded, looking between them. “Well, Jon, if you get sick of your parakeet talking for you then you know where to find me.”

Sansa’s mouth fell open, and she narrowed her eyes. This was war. A part of her brain reminded her that this wasn’t _real_ , Jon was not _hers,_ but a primal part of herself didn’t care. As far as Val knew he was, and she _still_ didn’t care. She’d blame it on the emotions, later, and the pure lack of disrespect from the other woman.

No one, not even Jon, was more surprised by her reaching forward to kiss him than herself. They were so close on the stools already, and she could feel Val’s eyes on them. She just needed to prove _something,_ and Sansa Stark was not going to leave without winning.

It was a quick kiss, just a few seconds long. Long enough for her to feel the flicker of Jon’s tongue as he went from shocked to responsive. Just long enough to fall into the warmth of his palm on her knee. Just long enough to remember why she had a crush on him in the first place—a cute boy, a prince who would do anything to help her out just because he was that intrinsically good.

“Hopefully that’ll do it,” she said as she pulled back, a little breathless. Her light pink lipstick shone back at her from the edge of his lip, and she reached out with her thumb to swipe the smear away.

He gave a nod. “Hopefully. Do you want to…”

“Yeah,” she agreed, pushing herself up. “We should go home. Arya and Robb will want updates.”

“We probably shouldn’t mention that last bit, yeah?” he said.

She looped her arm through his, looking over her shoulder one last time to see if Val was looking (she was). “Probably best not to,” Sansa said. “I’m not sure if Robb will cheer you on or murder you.”

* * *

**Marg Tyrell <3**

**Marg:**

YOU AND JON ARE DATING???

I knew it was inevitable,

it just makes too good of a story

 

**Sansa:**

It’s still kind of new ok? Don’t

jinx it or anything

 

**Marg:**

glad you’re dating him and the thing

with willas was nothing, you deserve

the best. though his new gf is a total bitch

 

**Sansa:**

he’s always had bast taste, hasn’t he?

 

**Marg:**

he really really has

unlike you, finally got that prince

 

**Sansa:**

oh shut up

* * *

It was just easier to _stay_ dating after that, really. Willas was still dating his new girlfriend, and Val was still as ferocious as ever. They needed to really sell it for a while, and it wasn’t like they had to hang out 24/7 to make it believable. Mostly, they did what they’d always done. They hung out with Arya and Robb, sometimes tugging Rickon along when their mother was too busy to look out for him (though he had been acting a bit strange lately, and Sansa wasn’t quite able to put her finger on it).

Sometimes, though, when Arya was out with Gendry and Robb disappeared (she was pretty sure he’d started seeing Margaery, but Sansa was going to remain willfully ignorant until it was impossible not to be), Jon came over anyways. They watched Netflix. Or went and got ice cream. One night they went out for a hike with Rickon sandwiched between them, laughing as they periodically swung him as they clasped his hands.

“Sansa,” Rickon whispered as Jon walked a few feet ahead of them as the trail narrowed. “I really _really_ like you guys together. Jon smiles more, and you bake more which means cookies.”

Sansa’s heart clenched as she watched Jon’s back. He looked over his shoulder, shooting the two of them a smile and a glance. She bent toward Rickon, squeezing his hand simultaneously. “Me too, buddy. Me too.” The whole thing was meant to be fake, but she watched the broadness of his shoulders and felt the pang in her chest and suddenly wasn’t all that sure

* * *

“Do you think about him a lot?” Jon asked as they sat on the roof, waiting for Arya to come home to scare her as she came to the door. It was dark, the stars were out, and it felt oddly idyllic. Almost romantic, Sansa would say.

Sansa sighed, resting her elbow on her knee and her cheek on her palm. “You mean dad, right?” He nodded. “Every day.”

“Me too,” he said. “He was… well, no one had ever really cared about me like that before.”

Nodding, Sansa leaned into his side. Jon was always so warm, and she’d gotten too comfortable with using it to her advantage. “He had that something, didn’t he? When you talked to him he made you feel so special.”

Jon bumped his shoulder into her side a bit, but then he opened up his arm and let her in closer. He rubbed a hand over her arm to fight away the chill. “You are special.”

“Well, _obviously_ ,” she joked. She gave a small chuckle, almost a little sad. “What do you think he would have thought about us?”

“Probably would have gotten quite the kick out of it,” Jon said with a soft smile. His hair was loose, and Sansa could feel it tickle her bare shoulder.

“If I was actually dating you…” Sansa trailed off, closing her eyes and letting the idea wash over her for a brief moment. “He loved you so much, Jon. Probably would have loved for you to be a part of the family.”

“I’d always wished you all were my family,” he replied. It was vulnerable, and Sansa squished further into his side for reassurance.

“You are our family, Jon,” she said. She looked up, tilting his head so their eyes were in contact. “No matter what happens, you’re always a Stark.”

His eyes darted to her lips, and she could feel a pull. Something between them. A car rushed down the street, wildly pulling into the driveway, and the two pulled back, the moment vanishing amongst the stars.

* * *

**Jon Snow**

**Jon:**

Happy one month anniversary.

 

**Sansa:**

**…**

you realize we’re not actually dating, right?

just want to check

 

**Jon:**

obviously, doesn't mean we can’t celebrate though.

 

**Sansa:**

ICE CREAM??

 

**Jon:**

Guess it’s your lucky day, too. Flavor

of the day is lemon. I already checked.

 

**Sansa:**

… marry me?

How are you this perfect

 

**Jon:**

If you insist. Idk, it comes naturally

I’ll be over in fifteen.

 

**Sansa:**

<3

* * *

“Your favorite Stark girls are ready,” Arya said as she took shotgun of Jon’s truck. “Though we know I’m still your favorite, obviously.”

Sansa slipped in the backseat. She caught Jon’s eyes in the rearview and smiled wide. He beamed back. “Happy anniversary.”

Arya rolled her eyes. “I’m glad you guys find this hilarious.”

Jon pulled onto the road. “Arya, you were the one to suggest this whole thing.”

“And I wouldn’t have if I’d known it would be a thing forever.”

Sansa leaned forward through the seats. “Ignore her. She’s frustrated because Gendry’s gone for the week, and Robb couldn’t come with us.”

Arya stuck out her tongue, and Sansa smiled back.

“Oh!” Sansa said, reaching behind her to pull something out of her bag. “Look what I got in the mail today.”

“I’m driving so I can’t actually look,” Jon said as he flipped on the turn signal.

“Joffrey’s not-in-love note. It was a return to sender, he must have moved. Which, thank god. I couldn’t have that monster reenter my life.”

“That means the only one you don’t know about is Harry’s, right?”

Sansa nodded. “I don’t think I even have his number anymore. Hopefully, I just never have to hear anything about it.”

Jon took one hand off the wheel and held it up for a high five, which Sansa returned. They turned down the last road to the ice cream place, and Arya visibly perked up.

“I’m so hungry,” she whined. Just as the car came to a stop she jumped out and slammed the door.

Jon and Sansa shared a look, laughing at Arya before getting out themselves. Just as Sansa shut the door, Jon came up to her side and grabbed her hand. They were far more comfortable with physical contact now than they were a month ago, but it was still rare. The kiss had been the craziest moment, and they hadn’t talked about it.

Sansa raised a perfectly arched brow, and Jon leaned forward. “Willas is here with Margaery.”

“Oh,” Sansa said. She clasped his hand tighter, and they moved toward the shop. Arya was scanning all the options when the approached, tapping a foot impatiently.

“ _Finally_ ,” she said. “Oh, your friends are here and coming this way.”

“Hey, didn’t know you were all going to be here,” Margaery said.

“Hey,” Sansa replied. “Funny running into you guys.”

Willas shrugged. “We had a craving.”

“It’s celebratory,” Margaery added with a clap of her hands.

Arya covered a laugh with a cough. Arya didn’t _mind_ Margaery, but she’d told Sansa several times before how comical she found her boundless energy. “Yeah, what for?”

“Willas finally broke up with that horrible girlfriend of his,” Margaery said. “Thank god, I couldn’t handle her high-pitched laugh around the house anymore.”

Sansa felt Jon’s hand tighten in her own, and she squeezed it. She wasn’t sure why, but it made her feel calmer. More grounded. When she looked up from their interconnected hands where she had laid her eyes for a moment, she noticed Willas staring at her.

“Do you think I could talk to you for a quick moment?” Willas asked.

Sansa looked to Jon, who for a moment wouldn’t let go of her hand. Finally, he nodded and she followed Willas out of the small stand to the side where a picnic table sat. She crossed her arms in front of herself, turning to the boy who only a little while ago she had been convinced she was in love with.

“Sansa…” he began before clearing his throat. “I wanted to say to you that since I got your letter, I’ve been thinking a lot about us.”

This was not where she had anticipated the conversation going. She shifted from one foot to the other. “What about us?”

“I think we should have dated,” he said. “I never should have bothered with that daft girl when you were right here. I’m sorry I didn’t see that.”

Sighing, Sansa brought a hand up to her face and rubbed along the bridge of her nose. “Two months ago I would have loved to hear this, Willas. But I’m with Jon. I want to be with Jon. The only thing you and I can ever be is friends.”

She’d thought she’d be excited if Willas ever admitted to caring about her, but here she was… not all that excited at all. All she could think about was Jon, waiting for her with a lemon ice cream cone. The admittal of feelings was empty. Maybe her words weren’t all that far from the truth in the first place, she realized. She peeked over and noticed Jon ordering ice cream, and her heart swelled. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face if she tried.

“I understand,” he said begrudgingly. “I wished things has worked out differently, but I understand. He probably deserves you more than me anyways. I hope you’re happy.”

She nodded. “I am. We can still be friends, right?”

Willas smiled and leaned forward, grabbing her into a hug. “Of course.”

Pulling back, she turned around to see Jon and Arya hastily look away. When she returned back to his side, he passed the cone over to her. “I got you an extra scoop,” he said, but the words sounded strangled.

His eyes were so bright, though, and his lips plump. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever appreciated that before, and all the little details she’d ignored were suddenly so obvious that she didn’t even notice his falter. She licked her ice cream, and it tasted perfect.

* * *

“Thanks for the ice cream, Jon.” Sansa knew maybe she held on for a little too long as she hugged him goodbye. He smelled good, though, and there was something so reassuring about being in his arms. It was getting harder and harder to remember that Jon was not actually her boyfriend, mostly because she’d grown to rather like pretending. Willas’s words still rang in her head, but mostly because she couldn’t stop thinking about how it had made her feel about _Jon._

“Sansa,” he said as she pulled back, “I think we should talk.”

She surveyed his face, and what she saw worried her. His face furrowed, his jaw tight. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing, I just…” He breathed in and met her gaze. “I think it’s time we stop playing, right? Willas broke up with his girlfriend. Val has backed off. There’s nothing to prove anymore.”

“Oh,” she said. This wasn’t her. Usually, she was better at maintaining her composure, but it felt shocking. She wasn’t sure _why,_ though. They had gone into this knowing it had an expiration date. It was just a sham to get them through a sticky spot. Nothing more. “Yeah, you probably, um… yeah. It’s run it’s course.”

He nodded. His hands were in his pockets, and he shuffled a step back. “Exactly. You can go on, date whoever you want.”

She didn’t want to date anyone else, though. She wanted to watch stupid movies on Netflix with him. Go on hikes with _him. Say you love him_ , her heart whispered. Her head kept her mouth firmly tightened shut. He wanted this break, it was stupid to think her words would change anything.

“Same to you,” she said through a smile she hoped looked realer than it felt. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

She didn’t wait for a response as she turned away, mostly because she didn’t want him to see her like this. Her fingers tightened, her chest flared, and suddenly it was worse than the first time she had written a letter for Jon. Because this time she actually got a taste of it, she actually started to _love_ him, but it wasn’t real. None of it was real, maybe her own feelings weren’t even real. Maybe she had acted so well she had fooled herself.

But if they weren’t real… why did it hurt so bad?

* * *

Sansa didn’t mean to hide herself away the next few days, but it only felt right after how much time she had been spending with other people. Not to mention, she didn’t want to see Jon. Her heart ached, and at the Stark residence it was never sure when he might show up. So, she stayed in her room and read some books and texted Marg. That was about all she could handle.

It was on the fifth day that it seemed Rickon had finally gotten enough. He knocked on her door but barged in anyway, climbing up onto her bed and snuggling into her side.

“ _San_ sa,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“Just a little down in the dumps, nothing to worry about,” she said. He turned so his head was in the pillow, and she ran a hand through his curly locks.

“I did something bad,” he muttered, “and I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I’d never hate you,” she said as she leaned closer, getting more on his level. “What did you do?”

“It was me.”

Sansa blinked, trying to put the pieces together. “What?”

“ _I_ sent out the letters.” He finally pushed up as the words rushed out of him like a leaky faucet. “I was so mad because you and Robb and Arya had been ignoring me, and I didn’t know what to do so I found them and sent them out. I’m sorry, especially because you and Jon were all happy and now you’re not and I really want you to be happy again.”

“Oh, Rickon.” She opened her arms and tugged him in closer. Anger flared within her, but she tried to retain her cool. He was just a child, and she knew how sorry he must have felt. It had almost worked out for the best, really. Except Jon was gone, and she wanted him back. “It’s okay, we make mistakes. You just can’t do stuff like that, okay? That's mean. And it can really mess with a person's life.”

“You need to get back together with Jon,” he mumbled. “Please?”

Sansa didn’t say anything as she continued to rub soothingly through his hair, staring at the wall across from her. She wasn’t sure what to say. Her heart wanted to talk to him. Her head didn’t know. She wasn’t all that sure which one would win out.

“Can we make cookies, please?”

Sansa laughed. “Sure, buddy. We can make cookies.”

* * *

In the end, in a move she probably should have predicted, her heart unanimously won. Which was how she came to the door of Jon’s apartment with a tin of cookies later that day. She was too impatient to wait, and she knocked a few times in quick succession.

By the time he came to the door, she felt heavy and uncomfortable. His eyebrows shot up when he noticed it was her, and she felt her heart doing somersaults. It hadn’t been that long since seeing him, but she had _missed him._ Not to mention his hair was messy and he was wearing his glasses and low-hanging sweats and it was doing a million strange things to her stomach.

“I don’t want us to be broken up,” she blurted.

Jon’s eyebrows crashed together.

“I want us to actually date,” she continued. “If you want to, of course, but I like you. I like how nice you are and how good you are with Rickon and how you do tons of little things for me you _definitely_ don’t have to. I really like when you get that little crinkle—”

“Sansa,” he interrupted, taking a step forward. “I’d really like to date you, too.”

“Really?” she asked.

He nodded with a small chuckle. His right hand came up to the side of her face, some of the fingers tangling into her long fiery hair, and his forehead touched down on hers before their lips met. He kissed her quick, just for a few seconds before pulling back.

“I’ve wanted to date you far before we started fake dating. You’ve always been the girl of my dreams, Sans.”

“Well, I mean, _I_ had a crush on you in middle school so I _think_ I win, but—”

This time, he didn’t wait to cut her words off with a kiss. She nearly dropped the cookie tin it was so much, but she regained her composure and pushed closer. Even pushed him a few steps back to close the door behind her, which she ended up pushed against a second later. His lips were soft with the perfect amount of pressure, and Sansa had never felt this right with a kiss before. It felt equal, which was what she hadn’t realized she’d been looking for the whole time.

“I might still need you to fend off Val,” he said with a laugh.

Sansa beamed before grasping a hand into his curls, kissing him on the lips and then the neck just because she could. “Of course. That's what girlfriends are for.”

**Author's Note:**

> here's my tumblr where you're more than welcome to throw prompts at me: [clarkescrusade](http://clarkescrusade.tumblr.com/)


End file.
